Our brains have this funny way of wanting to control everything. Isn’t that just strange how we process everything? From reviving past experiences, into our present moment up to projecting towards the future? It’s a messy process to navigate… Specially if that brain is full of clutter, and a humungous “to do” list. Where to even start right? And what’s that weird “surrender” we keep hearing in spiritual circles?
Who can surrender to that huh? I get you. We will unravel this really slowly. When we are imagining some kind of future, some kind of goal, it all starts by drawing that picture in the head. This is a good thing. It’s necessary for you to know what you want in life and where you want to go. However, there is a part where we are required to work on here. That part is on you and only you. We can’t just surrender, wait for that desired outcome to fall right on our lap or on our doorstep. The part that is required from us, is that very first acknowledgment of : “ok I am here, this is what I want and need, and here is what I need to do, to go there”…The actionable steps that are required and needed, for you to be taken from point A to point B. That action, that first step from your side will set things in motion. Set the universal movement and tone, in order to start the ripples. Ripples that make slowly waves and gather momentum. The momentum flowing towards where you want to go.
I believe the Universe or God, however you may want to call it, always conspires, as to bring us what we need for expansion and growth. It’s a symbiotic relationship. And just as in any relationship, there is some action involved, some intention and effort. But this is a dance as well, where you follow the lead or take the lead. Then moments arise where one needs to pause, surrender to what has been unfolding. Without force or control, to just bathe in what is unfolding according to the cosmic dance. And I have touched upon our brains because this is the hardest part of the process. When we have that desired outcome, we tend to get attached to a particular idea or a vision of how it should all unfold. This attachment creates tension, expectations and that is followed by emotions of pain, impatience or even anger. For we might stand in the mist and not see further and not understand. And that is the mind fuck for the brain, this in-between unknown space. It’s uncomfortable and we don’t want this non calculated, unpredictable state of mind. And yet here is where the magic and beauty truly unfolds.
Because it’s only in these moments of change and transition where we are pushed to discover who we are at our deepest core level. This is what sparks and ignites the fire of your soul. And so, you follow the tiny bread crumbs from the universe laid out in front of you. Guided by your heart’s desire you find the courage and bravery to take small steps. One at the time. Knowing as you slowly walk through the fog, the path unravels and the veils are lifted after each momentum. No matter how small or big it feels. It’s your journey you are walking. So, can we let go of that attachment to the outcome, that is only creating resistance and pain? Could it be possible to fall in love with “the self” that you are becoming in the messy process of following your own heart? Create this new relationship with yourself, knowing that you are rediscovering who you are forced to become in the process of stepping in this journey, guided by the light of your heart. Leaving the old faces behind, the old house of cards crumbling. You are standing in your true authentic self by walking a path no one had ever walked before you. So, I do believe, action and surrender do go hand in hand, a music that complements the universal dance. A dance you have accepted to dance with, invited by the purpose of your heart. And as we let go of that control and attachment within, we chose to enter an in between-world of navigating change. But I get you, this is not an easy process…Let’s breathe deeply and pause on this.
Letting go of control can seem like battle within. A battle where melancholy, sadness and the feeling of being alone settles in. For the very reason of leaving that state of familiarity and its known state of controlling behaviors. This is simply something we as habitual humans are not used to. A totally new dimension, where it feels deeply vulnerable, to be standing face to face with our fears. Fears that rise within, taking many shapes, many forms, many faces. Old masks you recognized, that you yourself used to wear and hide behind. This makes you feel out of place, like nothing makes sense in this inner war. Tearing you to pieces as you try to recognize what piece or part is really yours, and what part was just tainted by others and cultural expectations. And this is exactly what makes that inner war inside amplified. But let me ask you this and let’s dive back into your sweetest moments of your life…
Can we take a moment and remember who we were as children, when we were simply wild and free? We spoke our words we wanted, we screamed and cried letting what needed to get out of our system simply unfiltered. Playing in the weeds before we learned civility. Can we find that inner wildness and freedom again? Before that spark had been silenced and shut down to be painted into conformity? We had such freedom, joy and wildness because we danced from our hearts. And I do believe our heart is linked to our soul. It’s the heart, that is our guiding light showing us the way, leading to dare to take the little steps. Little steps that bring us closer back again to our true selves. It’s by following that pure heart that we become the brave warrior, who is willing to fight for what we hold dearest in our hearts and dreams.
The burden we carry as adults, complying and sacrificing for the sake of others just to be seen, or to not be alone is false mask we were told to carry. We followed generations of dysfunctional patterns, and by doing that we got lost. We lost ourselves in process of fitting in. But as brave warriors we hold our sword, but this is not a sword to create violence. This is a sacred sword of your own, that you use to cut through the filters of what is no longer serving you. It’s a blade that separates the illusions from what is the truth within your values, dreams, purpose, wants and needs. War inside of you is inevitable in the process of getting what you want in life, the counter polarity of that will also create wars within your current life. But to be a brave warrior from your heart, is to know that conflict is inevitable but violence does not need to be. We can stand for ourselves, stand in our own truth with compassion. The compassion to come back to honor and love ourselves. To honor that wild inner child that still exists within and that has all the right to finally take space. In letting this inner spark be free and let it shine fully, we take our first step of action. No matter how that looks to you. Know that the steps you take, are the very process of stepping into that portal of metamorphosis, closer to unravel who you always were. This is the dance of life, we take actions and let unfold what we started followed by gentle surrender to the process. The act of surrender enables God or the Universe to respond to what you have initiated. This is the hardest part in the cosmic dance. Everything seems to go so slow, the space of not knowing if what we started is even going somewhere. But know that as you question everything, this is what is required from letting go of the attachment as I pointed out in the beginning of this. The momentum we have built is still there, and it’s all just connected to divine timing. And the more we are able to let go of resistance and attachment to the outcome, the more everything unfolds. And as these warriors we fight for what is worth living and fighting for. Here is where the emotional painting gets painted…
The journey of self-recovery and discovery has now begun. It’s a lonesome walk, the dark night of the soul. Surrendering to this feeling of loneliness and melancholy, and learning to fall in love with it. To embrace the entirety of that unknown, that sadness, that impatience. It’s only when you stand bravely by yourself and love yourself so much. So, in love with who you are all alone, that you can truly fall in love with others. Fall in love again with life, your passions and life goals. It might seem egocentric, but this is absolutely not the case here. For how can you truly know, that when we love, we just love because of the fear of being alone? Or if we truly love out of a place of an unconditional love? This is the very meaning of standing in front of our fears. Can we embrace our fears fully? I’d like to give you a brief moment. Stop reading and ponder on that very question.
So, in this journey of self-recovery and discovery, we will need to face this dark painting. A tapestry woven between sadness, loneliness, uncertainty, fears of missing out, self-doubt and deep melancholy for the feeling of being alone in this all of this. Fears of questioning if the choices we take are truly the right ones. Fears that hold many shapes within this unknown space. Since the beginning we have been talking about surrender. That there exists this dance between actions and the process of surrender. Well the tapestry of these emotions combined with your fears are actually the pointer for you to let you know: Now is the time to surrender…
The entire melancholy of all of this painting is the exact place telling you to surrender. This is the invitation to let you feel each and everything without any attachment to its outcome. The steps you took have already been done, this is now the time to allow it to unfold. Can we look at this marvelous dark painting, as if it was a dark evening? A dark sky painted with the beauty of so many constellations, stretching out to infinity. Embrace this very feeling, it is your guidance towards growth, expansion, and metamorphosis. And as you embrace your fear and all of its emotions you are inviting that infinite space to hold them all. Your heart will be the guiding light that prevails through the fog. Know that each step you take guided by your heart will always be the right choice, even if it feels off. It’s just because it’s the first time you are choosing yourself before any other “usual path” or “norms”. The hardest roads are the toughest ones. And with each action you take, you go with the flow and surrender. Don’t you ever be frightened by what sparks that fire in the heart of yours…
Take each hard time as lesson learned, like small little stepping stones where your inner child jumps from one to another with laughter and play. Following the little breadcrumbs laid out by the universe in front of you. In the end your growth was inevitable when you look back, the only question that remains is how do you view that today?
